Did you all occur to see the photographs of Andie MacDowell on the pink carpet on the Cannes Movie Competition? Although she garnered some snark concerning the model of her robe—or, nightgown, because it was ungenerously, however not inaccurately, described—she appeared magnificent in all her softened, old-lady glory. And by softened, I imply actually (and alliteratively) that her bitty stomach bulge, her little love handles, her dimpled deltoids have been all on show. Granted, she’s in higher bodily form than loads of us at her age, on account of her dedication to taking superb care of herself, together with a snug monetary cushion supporting her efforts. However I consider showing on a pink carpet revealing kind of what a 67-year-old physique actually seems like is an act of braveness, even for somebody as beautiful as MacDowell.
Evaluate that pink carpet photograph with considered one of 62-year-old Demi Moore, one other well-observed film star round MacDowell’s age, and also you would possibly start to marvel what the advantages really are of attempting to keep up a physique that manifests the outcomes of cosmetic surgery, intermittent fasting, and many years of intense exercises. To her credit score, Moore has questioned publicly the knowledge of such a lifelong routine however nonetheless appears to relish the sharp, geometric angles of the outcomes. I salute her for persevering with to look, in her grandmotherhood, like a perfectly educated Marine. However as a Grammie myself, I choose a softer profile like MacDowell’s, aligning with the emotional softening I’m having fun with as I slip, comfortably, into my eighth decade.
I’m studying to just accept, if not love, the softening of age. I by no means had a lot of a stomach until this yr at 74; irrespective of what number of sit-ups I’ve attacked it with, it refuses to retreat. So be it. Oddly, now that I’m a few years post-menopausal, the softening of my physique makes me really feel extra sensual, in a method, extra leisurely about having fun with my physicality. This can be on account of many components, together with elevated vanity (more likely to peak through the 60s and 70s, in keeping with one study), a much less vital deal with my physique, fewer traumatic issues, and a extra relaxed strategy to intercourse. These emotions align with the analysis—referred to as the happiness U-curve—that happiness is most sturdy once we’re younger, declines in middle-age, after which rises once more the older we get, as our ambition and related stresses turn out to be much less intense and we would select to deal with contentment.
If this sounds too good to be true, it’s value noting that the U-curve depends on the notion that we’re usually wholesome and financially geared up sufficient to take pleasure in outdated age, components that exclude loads of the aged around the globe. Whereas acknowledging the recent conflict round this analysis, I’m selecting the sunnier interpretations. It is sensible to me that, regardless of the attention that because the years accrue, the runway shortens, it’s doable to take pleasure in a way of peace and poignancy. Or, as MacDowell put it once I spoke to her recently for Attract, “That’s one other factor that occurs after 60, you have got this energy to go inward and discover issues about your self you need to repair. I need to do away with the sides; I need to be mushy. I don’t need individuals to ruffle my feathers; I don’t have time for that. I simply need to handle myself. And love different individuals.”
What she mentioned.
Nonetheless. Darkish clouds approaching!
A lot of the exterior messaging we obtain each day—by promoting, social media, films, and TV—encourages or exhorts us to attempt to diminish the manifestations of growing older, and consequently, the inevitability of our mortality. The wrinkling, the dimpling, the mushy bulges and “free and silky elbows” (as one good friend places it), all are reminders that we’re natural, and being natural, momentary. Determining tips on how to recognize these reminders reasonably than to interact in an in the end shedding battle to eradicate them is without doubt one of the tougher duties of feeling good about ourselves as we age. Our look typically seems like our foreign money in a tradition that has historically valued girls extra for the best way we glance than for our value in different arenas (like work, household life, mind, and social values). So it could possibly require a serious shift in perspective to just accept that we’re farther than ever from the unrealistic, unattainable magnificence beliefs the tradition promulgates, and solely shedding floor. We’d select, lastly, to not try for it in any respect.
Picture: Getty Photos
If we’re open to it, there are some individuals who might help with that adjustment. A good friend informed me just lately about how her younger granddaughter, upon seeing her ample breasts uncovered for the primary time, exclaimed delightedly, “Oh, Gram! I didn’t know you have got these!” as she reached over to pat them gently. “Oh, they’re so fluffy!” she mentioned. Fluffy as a cloud, crusing decrease than they have been 20 years in the past, for certain, and dropping altitude by the day. Nonetheless, although, worthy of appreciation within the eyes of somebody for whom the softness of an growing older physique can look lots like love.
Learn extra from Valerie Monroe:
