Sitting in a comfortable transformed Palm Springs storage, I watched transfixed as a 60-something girl is getting digitally penetrated on a therapeutic massage desk. Because the thumping beat of moody instrumentals stuffed the air, I couldn’t assist however suppose: Observing a cheerful ending in a room of filled with 20 different girls undoubtedly wasn’t on my 2025 bingo card.
No, I’m not on a porn set. I’m witnessing a demo of sexological bodywork at Back to the Body, a sexual wellness retreat based by Pamela Madsen. The methodology, created in 2003 by Dr. Joseph Kramer, a somatic intercourse educator, makes use of “sexuality foundational parts like sound, voice, breath, contact, and motion to assist shoppers join with their erotic power and be taught via direct bodily expertise,” says Madsen.
Practitioners are at all times totally clothed. As for the consumer? You possibly can strip all the way down to your birthday go well with or maintain it coated. Contact is solely one-way—from the practitioner to the consumer, specializing in the participant’s expertise. Practitioners ask earlier than shifting to the following contact and clear, enthusiastic consent is required earlier than continuing. That is completely different from sexual surrogacy work, the place penetration and mutual sexual interplay could happen. Sexological bodywork will not be about creating intimacy. “We’re right here to create a protected, sacred house for individuals to discover their very own arousal, boundaries, and pleasure in a non-judgmental, instructional container,” says Madsen. “For a lot of, it’s the primary time they’re in a position to expertise the eroticism of their very own physique with out efficiency, stress, or expectation—and that’s life-changing.”
As Madsen and fellow practitioner Court Vox started their teasing, sensuous foreplay, the group of girls watched in admiration as Vox—whereas asking for Madsen’s consent at each step—sensually eliminated her garments, then massaged and rubbed her nude physique, taking his time to cater to her each want and whim—and exhibiting us what protected, intentional contact seems like. This wasn’t some fleeting second—this was a full hour of devoted, significant consideration. On one hand, watching one thing so intimate felt invasive. On the opposite, it was mesmerizing. We’re so used to seeing intercourse in motion pictures, all good lighting and cinematic angles, however right here was actual, unfiltered pleasure occurring in entrance of us.
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Courtesy of Sway Images
This isn’t the primary time I’ve discovered myself in a… distinctive scenario within the identify of “sexual science.” I’ve imbibed mushroom powder to spice up my libido. Gotten freaky on intercourse swings. Interviewed males who Botox their balls. Investigated the hyperlink between porn dependancy and erectile dysfunction. Sprayed THC on my nether areas. And experimented with extra vibrators than Samantha Jones may ever dream of.
So once I had the prospect to attend Again to the Physique, my first thought was ‘F**okay yeah!’ Most wellness retreats are all about kale smoothies, downward canine, and discovering your interior zen. And whereas I knew regular orgasms could improve your sleep and strengthen your immune system, I had no thought what a sexual wellness retreat entailed. Maintaining a healthy diet meals, exercising, and training mindfulness are all touted as an important a part of wellness, however embracing your sexuality isn’t at all times mentioned as a part of that equation. Are we lacking out by ignoring our sexual nature? I headed to California to search out out.
Madsen runs the Again to the Physique retreats along with her employees of somatic practitioners from each her base in Joshua Tree and world wide. A former Kindergarten instructor, Madsen based the American Fertility Affiliation in 1999. “My very own expertise with infertility opened my eyes to the shortage of assist, schooling, and compassionate look after individuals making an attempt to construct households,” Madsen explains. “I didn’t need anybody else to really feel that alone or that ashamed. So, I based the American Fertility Affiliation to be the group I want had existed once I wanted it most.”
