As advised to Jacquelyne Froeber and Noelys Mendez
August 14 is National Financial Awareness Day.
I grew up within the countryside of Cuba in a conventional Cuban family.
My father was the supplier for the household. He labored — quite a bit — on the small farm we owned and he took care of all of our funds. My mom additionally labored extremely onerous ensuring we had all the pieces we would have liked. She took the cash my father gave her and magically tracked down meals, cleansing provides, clothes, and so forth., which was a full-time job contemplating the place we lived.
Life moved at a sluggish tempo in our small city, however once I turned 19, I fell in love and issues began transferring very quick. I went from my household house to married life and I grew to become pregnant quickly after the marriage. Two months after I turned 20, I gave start to a child lady. I fell in love together with her the second I noticed her, and I knew I’d do something to guard her and hold her completely satisfied.
Sadly, I wasn’t completely satisfied in my marriage. I needed to maintain the dream of our household alive, however we weren’t proper for one another, and we separated simply two years after getting married.
I used to be devastated, however deep down, I knew it was the appropriate factor to do. I knew we may each be happier than we have been.
Nonetheless, it took me abruptly how completely satisfied I may actually be. I met the love of my life about two years after the divorce. We had an on the spot connection, and I knew he was my particular person.
Damian was good-looking, considerate and type. Most significantly, he handled my daughter like his personal.
We moved naturally into our acquainted, conventional roles. He was the supplier, and we by no means talked about payments or funds earlier than or after we received married. However once I received pregnant, we began speaking about transferring to america. Cuba has its financial limitations, and we needed our women to have extra alternatives and freedom to do no matter they needed.
Osleidy and her daughter(s) and husband Damian in Cuba, 2008
In 2010, we have been in a position to make our dream a actuality and we moved to Florida. Damian discovered a full-time job as an auto technician, and I stayed house with the youngsters.
Damian continued to maintain all of the payments, the home and the automobiles. All the pieces was in his identify.
Like my mom, I did all of the purchasing with cash he’d give me. After I used a bank card, he paid the invoice.
Cash wasn’t tight however I by no means took it with no consideration. Damian labored quite a bit — generally nights and weekends. I felt it was my job to assist save us cash, so discovering the perfect bargains and offers grew to become my tremendous energy. I by no means needed him to assume I’d reap the benefits of his extremely onerous work.
We had 12 superb years within the U.S. earlier than he was recognized with liver most cancers in 2022. The information was an absolute shock. I advised the physician that it should be a mistake. He was simply 41! “Too younger for most cancers,” I insisted. Additionally, we had plans. We had an awesome life. We had two lovely women and locations to go and issues to do.
However most cancers didn’t care.
The illness was relentless and merciless. For months, Damian stayed in mattress at house, unable to work. I stepped in as his full-time nurse and stop my part-time job. There was at all times the hope that possibly issues would flip round and he would miraculously get higher. However that didn’t occur. And with no regular earnings, we went by cash rapidly.
I used to be in caregiving mode so I pushed the looming monetary issues away. Then someday, out of the blue, it hit me. Damian wasn’t going to get higher. All the pieces was on me now. My mom and my youngest daughter have been dwelling with us. I used to be accountable for holding a roof over our heads. How on this planet was I going to do this?
A flood of panic gripped my physique and I gasped for air. It was all an excessive amount of. “I can’t do that,” I whispered out loud. I used to be grieving. I used to be exhausted. I didn’t have the energy to push ahead. I didn’t even know the place to begin.
However I knew who to ask. My eldest daughter was 25, and though she’s married, she’s in an equal marriage the place she and her husband break up the payments and possession of their property.
I didn’t wish to inform her that I wanted assist, however I had no alternative. I needed to step up and study to do issues for myself. For our household.
Osleidy together with her mom and two daughters, 2024
With my daughter’s assist, we made a plan. The very first thing I did was get each invoice and a pocket book. I added up all of the bills to see how a lot cash was going out per thirty days. I transferred all of the payments into my identify and the bank cards. I additionally had to check out my way of life. Since my husband had an excellent paying job, I needed to be life like that once I received a job, I wasn’t going to usher in as a lot cash as he did (however hopefully someday!).
After Damian handed, I took a quick time to grieve after which I began working full time at a components meeting manufacturing facility. There have been moments once I thought I couldn’t do it. I used to be 45 coming into the workforce in a brand new profession, however I’m so pleased with myself and the energy that us girls have, of our potential to reinvent ourselves for our household after going through the adversities of life.
I nonetheless have onerous days the place I battle to even get out of my mattress, or all I can do is consider Damian and the lengthy life we thought we had left. However then I keep in mind my daughters, my mother and my energy. And I’m reminded irrespective of how darkish the trail seems to us, with effort and battle, girls develop into extra highly effective and impartial every single day.
